Characters & Manners Building / mutual relationship

Mannerisms of Companionship Brotherhood and Living amongst People Part 1

Mannerisms of Companionship, Brotherhood and Living amongst People¹
Part 1

Shaykh `Abdullaah bin `Umar Mar`ee bin Barayk Al-`Adanee (hafidhahullaah)



Verily, all praise is for Allaah. We praise Him, seek His aid and His Forgiveness. We seek refuge in Allaah from the evils of our souls and the evils of our actions.
Whomsoever Allaah guides there is none to misguide him, and whomsoever Allaah misguides there is none to guide him. I bear witness that there is none worthy of worship except Allaah Alone, without any partners, and I bear witness that Muhammad is His servant and messenger.

I praise Allaah a good and blessed praise, for verily, He is the One Who has given us many blessings which we are unable to count. The greatest from those blessings is the tawfeeq that Allaah has given us to be from amongst the people of Islaam and from being amongst the people of the sunnah of the Prophet Muhammad (sallallaahu `alayhi wasallam).

I praise Him for having facilitated for us this majlis which is in shaa Allaahu ta`aalaa a blessed majlis because it is from the sittings of knowledge and is of those sittings where we are reminding ourselves and studying the different topics of the beneficial knowledge that will help us to correct our deeds and enable us to do righteous deeds.

After thanking and supplicating for the brothers who organized the seminar for their efforts (jazaahumullaahu khairan), the Shaykh (hafidhahullaah) went on to say:

It was proposed that this dawrah should be linked to matters of good behavior, and we have chosen to study the 11th chapter of the book Mukhtasar Minhaaj Al-Qaasideen of Ibn Qudaamah Al-Maqdisee (rahimahullaahu ta`aalaa). This book is a great book, and this chapter that we are going to study is a great chapter in this great book because it is linked to matters of purifying our souls, and of correcting our deeds and our manners.

These topics that are mentioned in these books, in these chapters are all in conformity with the path of our righteous predecessors (As-Salafus-Saalih). It is upon us as Muslims, Salafis and as students of knowledge to give great importance to this sort of book and to these sorts of topics, for verily, we are in strong need of studying and reminding ourselves and each other of these sorts of matters which are linked to our righteous deeds and our good character. By all of this, we will in shaa` Allaahu ta`aalaa be able to correct our words, our speech and our deeds. For verily, the firmness upon this deen, the
firmness in the knowledge, and the firmness upon the manhaj of Ahlus-Sunnah wal-Jamaa`ah, the Salafi manhaj, is something which is not just limited to gathering many topics and memorizing many ahaadeeth and texts, etc. Rather, the benefit of all of this has to come in the realization of this knowledge – by  putting it into practice in our daily deeds. This is the reason why we are going to study these sorts of topics in this dawrah.

For verily, some people are fooled, cheated and intrigued by their own knowledge that they have acquired. For verily, some people have gathered a lot of knowledge and have memorized many things, but this knowledge that they have gathered has become a cause for them to go astray in their character. They have become arrogant and they are amazed at themselves, and they think of themselves as better than other people. Verily, this was
not the path of the prophets and messengers (`alayhimus-Salaam), for verily, the prophets and messengers were people of knowledge from Allaah subhaanahu wata`aalaa, and they had the best of characters.

So we see that these are two things that have to go together . Allaah -`azza wajall – said about the Prophet (sallallaahu `alayhi wasallam):

( وَإِنَّكَ لَعَلَ ى خُلُ ق عَظِي م )
And verily, you (O Muhammad sallallaahu `alayhi wasallam) are on an exalted standard of character. (Al-Qalam 68:4)

And verily, nowadays, we are confronted by problems in our communities where we see that some people who claim to be from the Salafi manhaj show a very bad attitude towards people, and the result of this is as the Prophet Muhammad (sallallaahu `alayhi wa`alaa aalihi wasallam) said:

“Verily, amongst you are those who chase the people away.”2

Meaning, they are making them run away from the haqq and the people of haqq. So, you see that nowadays you have people who are leaving the masaajid of Ahlus-Sunnah because of people in those masaajid, or linked to those masaajid, showing bad behavior towards them. And on the other side we see that some people are fooled by the people of falsehood because those people show a nice face to them and use good mannerisms in order to attract them to their falsehood.

The people in these matters are upon two extremes and a middle path:

Firstly, you have people who show good behavior, but this good behavior is only a way to fool people with their falsehood.

Secondly, you have other people who do not give the rights and haqq that they have with them its right by showing bad behavior and making people run away from it.

The middle path in this is that we have to follow the haqq wherever it is, and we cannot take as a single indicator the behavior of individuals; for verily, you will see people of haqq that will be harsh, and at the same time you will see people of falsehood that will be showing a nice face to you. But this is not the only indicator. What we have to follow is the Book of Allaah and the Sunnah of the Messenger (sallallaahu `alayhi wasallam) the way it was revealed and the way it was put into practice in our first generations.

Also, you should not think that the people of hawaa (the people of falsehood and the people who follow the whims of their own souls) are necessarily people of good behavior. For verily, as Shaykhul-Islaam Ibn Taymiyyah (rahimahullaahu ta`aalaa) has explained:

“You will not find any sort of good with the people of baatil (falsehood) except that you will see the same good with the people of sunnah, and even more of it; and you will not find any sort of shortcoming from some individuals of the people of the sunnah unless you will find the same shortcomings, and even more, with the people of falsehood.”

So, nowadays we might see that some communities might have been tried by a Salafi who is treating them harshly and not showing them nice behavior. This should not let us be fooled by this single character and this single behavior. But we have to know that the manhaj of Ahlus-Sunnah wal-Jamaa`ah is the manhaj of following the truth and of having good behavior, no matter what some individuals may be showing of it.

كتاب آداب الصحبة والأخوّة ومعاشرة الخلق ونحو ذلك
Chapter 11: The Book of the Manners of Companionship and Brotherhood and
How to Live with the Creation and Similar things

In Arabic the scholars use the word kitaab ) ك تَاب – book) in their books as titles like in this chapter. Kitaab linguistically means that which is written on paper and the like of paper in order to preserve this knowledge, and it is upon the wazn (scale) فِعَال (fi`aal), and it means maf`ool, meaning maktoob – something that is written. What is intended here is that these written lines that you are going to read now are lines that are dealing with matters of companionship and how to act with people.

The author (rahimahullaahu ta`aalaa) has put this chapter in this great book of his, which is Minhaaj Al-Qaasideen because verily the Muslim is of great need of these sorts of topics and studying this sort of knowledge.

Because of this, the author has separated his book into four main parts, and one of these parts is the part dealing with customs and behavior, and verily these matters of good behavior in our daily lives are from the important matters in which the Muslim shows his eemaan and interacts with other people.
The author (rahimahullaah) said:

Know, that al-ulfah (the love and good relationships that are between people) are the result of good behavior, and separation and splitting is the result of bad behavior. For verily, the good behavior brings about love and connection between people, whereas bad behavior has as an effect that people hate each other and turn away from each other. It is clear what is in good behavior from virtue, and the ahaadeeth that indicate these meanings are very numerous.

Shaykh `Abdullaah (hafidhahullaah) commented:
The word khuluq ( خُ لُق – behavior) in Arabic is of two types:

  • The behavior with Allaah (subhaanahu wata`aala)
  • The behavior with the creation


The behavior with Allaah (subhaanahu wata`aalaa) in [word unclear] is two things:
1) That the individual looks at and recognizes his own shortcomings, and
whatever he does from deeds and whatever level he might reach in his deeds,
then he will still fall short compared to the great right that Allaah has upon
him and all of the bounties that Allaah has bestowed upon him. So, with this,
the believer constantly asks Allaah for forgiveness and to overlook his
shortcomings, and he understands that he is not fulfilling the real right that
Allaah has upon him.
2) He looks at the Greatness and the Perfection of Allaah (ta`aalaa) – His
Perfection within Himself and also His Perfection in all of His bounties that
He has bestowed upon His creation. This was the behavior of the righteous
people from the servants of Allaah (subhaanahu wata`aalaa). Like Allaah
(subhaanahu wata`aalaa) said:
( وَٱلَّذِينَ ي ؤُْتُونَ مَآ ءَاتَو اْ وَّقُ لُوب هُُمْ وَجِلَةٌ أَن هَُّمْ إِ لَ رَهبِِّمْ رَ جِعُونَ )
And those who give that (their charity) which they give (and also do other
good deeds) with their hearts full of fear (whether their alms and
charities, etc., have been accepted or not), because they are sure to return
to their Lord (for reckoning). (Al-Mu`minoon 23:60)

So we see those people are people of good deeds. They are doing well towards
the creation, and at the same time they have fear in their hearts because they
know that they are falling short.

As far as the good behavior is concerned with the creation, the scholars have
summarized it in three things:
a.) That you refrain from harming in any way
b.) That you do good to other people and that you strive in order to do good
deeds and favors to other people
c.) That you have a friendly face and smile

These are the three general characteristics by which the good behavior towards the creation takes place.

The author (rahimahullaah) said:

Know, that al-ulfah (the love and good relationships that are between people) is the result and the fruit of good behavior, just as separating and splitting is the result of bad behavior. For verily, good behavior brings about love, understanding and closeness between people, whereas bad behavior brings about hate and turning away from each other. It is clear what is in good behavior from virtues, and the ahaadeeth which indicate that are many.

Shaykh `Abdullaah Al-`Adanee (hafidhahullaah) mentioned as an explanation for this thewords of Allaah (subhaanahu wata`aalaa):

( وَٱذكُْرُو اْ نِعْمَتَ ٱللَّه عَلَيْكُمْ إِذْ كُنتُمْ أَعْدَآء فَأَلَّفَ ب يََْ قُ لُوبِكُمْ فَأَصْبَحْتُم
بِنِعْمَتِه إِخْ وَ ن ا وَكُنتُمْ عَلَ ى شَفَا حُفْرَة همنَ ٱلنَّارِ فَأَنقَذَكُم همنْ هَا )
And remember Allah’s Favour on you, for you were enemies one to another but He joined your hearts together, so that, by His Grace, you became brethren (in Islamic Faith), and you were on the brink of a pit of Fire, and He saved you from it. (Aali `Imraan 3:103)

So you see that Allaah (subhaanahu wata`aalaa) is mentioning His bounty upon the believers by telling them that through the religion of Islaam, the behavior that they have acquired in this religion, and what they have learned from tawheed and worship that has made them change their characters and made them change their way of looking at things – that through all of this love has come about between them. So we see that our religion, Islaam, and putting it into practice properly is a first step towards reaching this matter of
good behavior between each other.

The pillars of good behavior are five

(these pillars will be mentioned in more detail later in shaa` Allaah):

1) Knowledge
This will be explained later on. Because verily, through the knowledge of this religion we will understand what is the right behavior to have in the different situations that we will be going through, and how to put it into practice.The author (rahimahullaah) went on to say:

“And it was related from the hadeeth of Aboo Ad-Dardaa` (radhiyallaahu `anhu) that the Prophet (sallallaahu `alayhi wa-`alaa aalihi wasallam) said:
‘There is nothing heavier in the scales of a believer on the Day of Judgment than good character.’”3

Shaykh `Abdullaah Al-`Adanee commented:
We see from this hadeeth that from the greatest things that will be heavy in the Scales of the good deeds of the believer on the Day of Judgment will be the good behavior that he had in the general meaning that we have mentioned. For verily, the good behavior is a sign of the perfection of eemaan, just as the bad behavior is a sign of shortcoming in matters of eemaan. So this is why you see that good behavior is such an important matter in the Scales of the believer on the Day of Judgment, because it is directly related to his level of eemaan.

The author (rahimahullaah) went on to say:

“And in another hadeeth it was related, ‘Verily, the most beloved of you to me and the ones amongst you who will be sitting closest to me on the Day of Judgment will be the best of you in behavior, and the most hated ones from amongst you and those among you who will be sitting the farthest from me on the Day of Judgment will be those of bad behavior.’”

Shaykh `Abdullaah Al-`Adanee (hafidhahullaahu ta`aalaa) commented:
The meaning of this hadeeth is correct, and there are many of other ahaadeeth that back up the meaning of this narration. What is meant is that from the beloved matters in the believer is the fact that he has good behavior, and this will bring him close to the Prophet (sallallaahu `alayhi wasallam) on the Day of Judgment.

The author (rahimahullaahu ta`aalaa) said:

“And the Prophet (sallallaahu `alayhi wa-aalihi wasallam) was asked, what is the thing that will enter the most people into Paradise? So he said,
‘Having taqwaa of Allaah and good behavior.’”

Shaykh `Abdullaah Al-`Adanee (hafidhahullaah) said:
These narrations that the author (rahimahullaah) mentioned here all show us the great importance of good behavior in our religion, and it is something which is directly linked with eemaan, and which will have great importance on the Day of Judgment when the people will be judged and will go either to the Paradise or to the Hellfire.

The author (rahimahullaahu ta`aala) said:

“As far as loving for the sake of Allaah (ta`aalaa) is concerned, it has been reported in the Saheehayn4 from the hadeeth of Aboo Hurayrah (radhiyallahu `anhu) that the Prophet (sallallaahu `alayhi wa-aalihi wasallam) said:
‘There are seven whom Allaah will shade in His Shade on the Day when there is no shade except His Shade…’
“So he mentioned from them:
‘Two men who love each other for Allaah’s sake, meeting for that and parting upon that…’

“And in another hadeeth:
‘Allaah `azza wajall says, ‘Verily, My Love has become a right for those who have loved one another for Me, and My love has become a right to those who have tabaadhul5 to one another for Me. And My Love has become a right for those who visit each other for my sake.’

“And in another hadeeth:”
‘The most solid part from the chain of eemaan (faith) is the fact that you love for Allaah and you hate for Allaah.’

“And the ahaadeeth in this meaning are very numerous.”

Shaykh `Abdullaah (hafidhahullaah) said:
What we understand from these ahaadeeth is the importance of having good relations with one another and how to put them into practice. Like it was mentioned in this hadeeth the fact that we should visit one another for the sake of Allaah, and the fact that we should help each other and do well to each other for the sake of Allaah. This is from the strongest parts and from the greatest proofs of al-eemaan.

As Allaah (subhaanahu wata`aalaa) also said,

( وَقُل لهعِبَادِى ي قَُولُو اْ ٱلَّتِِ هِىَ أَحْسَنُ )
And say to My slaves (i.e. the true believers of Islamic Monotheism) that they should (only) say those words that are the best. (Al-Israa` 17:53)

If you have the choice between saying something good and saying something which is best, you should say what is best.
So all of this shows you how the believers are supposed to interact with each other and take care of each other.
End of part 1. To be continued in shaa` Allaah…



2 Reported in Saheeh Al-Bukhaaree as part of several ahaadeeth Kitaab Al-Jamaa’aat wal-Imaamah (no. 670, 672), Kitaab Al-Aadab (no. 5759) and Kitaab Al-Ahkaam (no. 6740), and also in Saheeh Muslim Kitaab As-Salaah (no. 466)

3 Reported by At-Tirmidhee; he declared it saheeh. Imaam Al-Albaanee has also declared it hasan.

4 Saheeh Al-Bukhaaree and Saheeh Muslim
5 At-Tabaadhul: That you do well to one another, whether it is by giving presents to each other, helping one another out or even smiling to one another and having good behavior towards one another.



Notebook of Benefits

Transcribed by Umm Rumaysah Imaan

Audio source: Miraath Al-Anbiyaa`

Translated by Aboo Hudhayfah


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